95 Hours

There are only 95 hours til I get married.

As for the wedding we are good to go. just couple things left to set up before Saturday. Today i met with Tim Harman and we are really excited for him to be our photographer. Amy is getting her roots done today, actually as i type this now. We are a Joseph and Friends.

The question i seem to keep being asked every few hours by someone is “Are you nervous?” Honestly i am not i have been thinking about i guess you would call it reflecting on our life coming up. Watching the movie Marley & Me this week sort of summed up alot of the thoughts i have been having. I do wonder if when we are 5, 15, 25 years down the road if i will be looking back at my life and wondering what if. I sure everyone does this when they get older regardless of their relationship status. I have though a lot on this and decided i am sure i will look back and wonder what would have happened if i didn’t leave SSR, or didn’t let her speak first, or go through and buy the ring and give it to her. All i know now is that i have no regrets of my past. I have NO regrets of today. I am more excited in what God has in-store for us. I don’t know how to formulate the words.

While i have learned some basic “guy” emotions and random thoughts don’t go away. I have learned that it feels as if i would forget to breathe or how to eat if i lost Amy. I know I know that is LAME and WEIRD. But i never thought i would love and other human being with as a fervent heart as i do with her.

So with job change, moving, Africa, agent appreciation day, and getting married all happening in 4 months, i would have to say 2009 has been by far the best year in my life. I have grow so much closer to God in my relationship with him. Watched my fiance, develop her relationship with Him too. It is all a little overwhelming. Also knowing that in a mere 94 hours i am going to stand in front of most of the people who have helped shame me into the man i am today, and say i will love, hold, and care for Amy for the rest of my life.

Sometimes you fit in when you don’t think you do.

As I am moving on to this new part of life, a part filled with a wife, new job, new place to live. I cannot help to look back and see where I have come from. Lately it seems like a lot of people from my past have been popping up either in my mind or in person. I have been thinking about the different seasons of my life that has brought me to now.

I guess this is normal when you are preparing a list for people to come to your wedding, or your thinking weather you should go to the 10 year high school reunion or not. I think we all stop and think back from time to time. For me there were only a few people there to help me along the way, and God brought them into my life at the perfect time each time. I didn’t always treat them kindly but they were there, unlike some of the people who have helped me along the way, there were these teachers I had starting really in the sixth grade that really seemed to take an interest in my well being. An interest in my life, mind, and ability. Namely, Ms. Mangano, and later Ms. Cohen, they were sent from heaven in my opinion. At a time where I was most impressionable and susceptible to a lot of bad influences, these two people dealt with my short comings and flaws to help me harness my abilitiesy and make be better for it. 15 years later I look back and I am so grateful for them. What if they didn’t care, what if they didn’t like me, what if they were just mean to me cause I was a lot of trouble like a lot of the other teachers were to me? Who knows I could have gone down a very rough path in life, a path where I may not have found Christ. I may not have graduated even high school. I probably definitely wouldn’t be 25 days from marrying Amy.

So I write this especially for Ms. Mangano and Cohen, to say thank you. Thank you for standing behind me and encouraging me when no one else was besides my mom. Thank you to all teachers who have this kind of impact in their students lives. Not just to teach them the material but to show them something that will stay with them for the rest of their life.

Amy is scheduled to go to school in the fall to become a teacher herself, there is a special place in my heart for teachers. Especially Ms. Mangano, Ms. Cohen, and Coach McKay.

Moving Parts

Had a wonderful weekend, yesterday didn’t do much of anything, honestly it was wonderful. So today is 33 days until I get married, not a whole lot left to do. I am so excited to get married. Sometimes it is hard to believe and still seems like it is so far away. We have finished out pre-marital mentoring, and now I just need to get my tux fitted and some odd and ends then we will be there. Outside 

of that, I have moved and put in a resignation at the company I work for. I know a lot of you have asked, “Why would I leave a Job like this in this economy?” Honestly the only answer I have is I truly believe God is leading me on a path away from Solid Source. I have loved working there and learning the things I have learned. But it is time to move on. I would be a fool to stay when I and others believe God is saying move on. At least this way I leave on my own terms and not forced out the door.

The timing seems a little weird, I know. But even though I have 11 days left at Solid Source and 33 till I am married I am not worried. I am standing firm in what I have done and I am letting God move me in the right direction and into the right position. I have been on 12 interviews, and submitted over 100 resumes in the past two weeks. I feel confident everything will work out like it always does.

I haven’t updated my blog in a while. I have been contemplating where I should steer it. The good thing about the trip to Africa, leaving Solid Source, Getting Married, finishing Agent Appreciation Day, and searching for a job is that I haven’t had the time to dive into the politics. I know what’s going on but I am not brewing over it all day.

So for now, I am continuing looking for a job, finish everything for the wedding, and continue getting excited for what God has in store for both Amy and I in our lives ahead. Cause in a couple years, this transition will be the best thing for me. And the stress of not having a job will long be forgotten.

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, oh oh. Gonna make it right tonight…

All Packed, devises all set for long plane ride, all prayed up. Now tonight I spend the evening with my almost wife. Tomorrow I will worry about the rest of the things that need to be done. Will be at airport at 2:00PM tomorrow.

Better than last valentines day.

Everyday the wedding is becoming more and more closer and real. I know I gave her a ring and I proposed and I knew that was for us to get married. But the more I think about it I get a little more excited, scared, happy, and frightened.

Excited, cause I know I have made the right decision with the right girl, that God has brought to me.

Scared, cause we all are a little or should be a little scared about the things unknown. We know a lot of marriage now, we have listened to sermons, read books and talked to people. Even with all of that at least for me there is a little scared.

Happy, cause it never fails to bring a smile to my face everytime I think about her or someone brings her or our wedding up. Happy because I have never thought I could be loved by another human this much let alone love another human that much myself.

Frightened, mainly because I am afraid I might not be the most wonderful husband and father all the time. Each day I am becoming more and more confident that God can have us get together God can whip my ass into shape to be the man of her life and the man of the family.

So I guess this is an early Valentines blog, but I would have to say that the past 386 days more wonderful and completely unexpected that I could have ever thought. My life went from where to go drink Friday night to what can I do to may Amy smile. From what games me and the boys are going to play to what can I make for dinner to make Amy happy. I thank God everyday for bringing me through my past so that I could be with Amy.

Thank You Jesus!

Today is two days before Christmas. Two days before the day that we represent as the day Jesus was born. Two days before God sent his son to be come a savior. This year is a special one for me. This year God changed everything for me forever. I remember last year where Christmas morning I sat at home watching a movie til some of my friends got done with their families so I can have some company. I am not saying I don’t have a great family, it’s just I was one of the few without my own family. So my sister got to get up and see her children excited cause of Santa and my other sister too. My mom got to spend her 18th Christmas with her husband (my dad). I was laying on the couch watching superman, I said a little prayer, “God I know you are in control and I know you have a plan, I just hope I can have my own family.” As in an act of foreshadowing 18 days later I stopped and said a little prayer, “God please let me know if she is the one. God grant me the patience and calmness with this one she seems special, and I ask you to be apart of this.” Fast forward 345 days later, I wake up this morning to get ready for work, I squeeze my fiancé and giver a kiss and wish her a good day at work. In those 345 so many things have happened but I see how God has answered my prayers from last Christmas and this past January. He brought me someone who I am starting my family with and he is a part of our relationship. I never thought I could or would have someone so beautiful, smart, logical, realistic, loving, caring, humble, woman as I have found in Amy. Plus the fact that we both are seeking Gods path is truly amazing. I have so much to be thankful for, but I want to thank you God for giving me something I have wanted since I was a little boy. The chance to have a family, and be the husband and father my father wasn’t. The birth of a family of my very own. So Merry Christmas and thank you God for you have done all of this and brought the two of us together. I love Amy Buschor, and I will continue to love her after she becomes Amy Hoover.

Oh what a year 2008 was.

This is my favorite day!

Life is going so well, finally I have gotten over my addition to the election coverage and don’t really pay attention to all the rhectoric. Life seems to be coming together, there are some stresses, but my relationship with God is wonderful. My life with Amy is amazing, work is good taking more and more on and I am excited about my mission trip coming up. Sometimes I stop and think about life and how things in your life are important to you. For now! I see where God has brought me from and delivered me from and promising me for the future. I can honestly say that this is the best time of my life so far and today would ber the best of my life. Well until tomorrow probably. I never though how just being with a wonderful woman can make you feel like the man you were always told you were by others but didn’t believe it. I praise God for all these things in my life that are going so well and I cherish the wonderful times cause it won’t always be wonderful!

Olympics

It has been a little odd i have been out of the loop with the Olympics this time. But then again i never really watch the summer Olympics. But i have been spending more time alone with my lady. That is way more awesome than some olympics!

Stop and Stare, what are you looking for!

Meghan Coffee’s show was awesome saw some new and old friends there. It was great being with my Amy! She looked stunning as usual! Because we went to “nice dinner” Kyma which was unbelievably awesome. I have been to these kinds of restaurants a lot in my life. I mean the food is usually good, the service is a little uncomfortable, like Amy said I couldn’t have a slave! But sometimes it is fun dressing up and going somewhere so that you lady can feel a little more appreciated and loved than the normal burger/PBR joint. So all in all the show was awesome her CD was awesome, dinner was awesome, and my wonderful date was amazing!

I just want to take a screwdriver and DIG it out!!!

As the pressure builds in my left ear and the phone rings off the hook I had to take a break and ignore it all. I have been listening to the NP series, “The Cross, Crescent, and the Star” man it has been wonderful. First I learned a lot about the faith of Islam and Judaism. But hearing amazing stories of people coming to Christ, but having to be loved not by their families because of it. I don’t think I will ever have to make a decision of that magnitude of believing in something I would be disowned by my family. But I know that inside I do believe that hard and I do love Christ above ALL else. You hear something like that and then ear pressure and headaches don’t seem so bad than having your father say he will never be proud of you, or having your mother die denying she had you as a child.

Tonight I am taking out my lovely Amy B. to a concert, which concert you ask? Meghan Coffee’s CD release show actually. There is going to be some dinner involved as well. Will be a great night since we are both feeling better. 🙂